THE BEAUTIFUL TRUTH.

THE BEAUTIFUL TRUTH by BELINDA SEAWARD.

Catherine knew little of her father.
A Polish exile, he disappeared when she was twelve, leaving her a pair of binoculars and a lifelong love of the stars. Now in her forties, she lives an academic life in Cambridge with a brilliant yet troubled mathematician. Ordinary life is interrupted the day Catherine is contacted by an American film-maker who is in Krakow to research the wartime experiences of his Polish aunt. What Konrad has uncovered will send Catherine on a voyage not only into Poland's past, but into her own history and her own heart. And what she uncovers there will change her life in ways she could not possibly have imagined.
........ inner front cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): The man's face is familiar, eerily familiar, a face from a thousand dreams to come.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 103): ...... "You must not give up. Whatever happens to you, you should protect your courage and feed your hope. Go slowly, but go forward and learn to live in your heart."
"What if I have lost my heart?"
"You will find it again. It's waiting for you." 

MY THOUGHTS: Set in Poland, essentially The Beautiful Truth is two books in one. Alternating chapter by chapter, on the one hand we have the second world war story of Janek and Krystyna, whilst, on the other, there is the modern day story of Catherine and Konrad, the two stories connecting in so far as film maker Konrad is conducting research into the wartime exploits of his aunt (Krystyna) whose girlhood friend was no less than Catherine's father, Janek. 

A bit of a hit and miss read for me I'm afraid. Beginning with a very violent and literally torture filled opening chapter that almost saw me giving up reading the novel there and then, Krystyna's story turned out to be an enthralling and very moving read whilst the chapters regarding Catherine and Konrad, for the most part, proved less than memorable. 

On the whole poignant and beautifully written, I would, however, have enjoyed the book just as much (perhaps more so) if it had been shorter and concentrated solely on Krystyna's story.

DISCLAIMER: Read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.

OF PLUMS AND DIVAS.

To our great-nephew, 2 today.
Have a wonderful day Little Plum,
Lots of love, 
Aunty Taity and Uncle Neal. x

And talking of the little people in my life ......

I've made many friends through the Blogosphere but not for one moment did I expect to become a penpal with someone so much younger than myself. 

Surprised (but honoured) to be approached by a fellow blogger, I agreed to correspond with Little Diva (6), to tell her a little of life here in the north east of England.

Well, I've never let age be a barrier to friendship, so why start now?

CHRISTMAS SPIRIT READING CHALLENGE: VISIONS OF SUGAR PLUMS LEVEL.

Having read (and reviewed) 4 books (THE CHARM BRACELET, A LAWMAN'S CHRISTMAS, THROUGH A GLASS, DARKLY, SHAKESPEARE'S CHRISTMAS) for this year's ...... 

See my sidebar to sign up OR if you have already done so click HERE to post your review(s)

I've completed the Mistletoe level and now its onto my reviews of the 3 children's books read for the Visions Of Sugar Plums level, the first two of which I'm sure many of you will know, the last one, perhaps not.

• HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS by DR SEUSS.

The ghastly Grinch refuses to be moved by the Christmas spirit in this must-have paperback version of Dr Seuss's classic tale.

When he spies the citizens of Who-ville enjoying their Christmas preparations, the Grinch comes down from his cave and makes a dastardly attempt to take all the joy out of the occasion by actually stealing Christmas.

..... Amazon book description.

FIRST SENTENCE VERSE: Every Who

Down in Who-ville

Liked Christmas a lot ...

But the Grinch,

Who lived just north of Who-ville,

Did NOT!

MEMORABLE MOMENT: Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch. "I will stuff up the tree!"

MY THOUGHTS: Though I only came across these books as an adult when I read them to our niece and nephew (now 22 and 19) I'm a big fan of Dr Seuss BUT, highly readable as this one may be, I have to admit it isn't one of my favourites.

Written in rhyme as are all his books, How the Grinch Stole Christmas can be read on many levels. Seemingly a simple story, ultimately this is a deeply yet subtle moral story with a powerful message to tell.

Not just a book for Christmas, with its anti commercialism message the book could apply just as well to Easter.

  

• THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS by CLEMENT C. MOORE with illustrations by LIS TOFT.

'Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse ..... 

So begins this famous poem, written by Clement C. Moore over a hundred and fifty years years ago and still the best-loved of all Christmas rhymes.

...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE VERSE: 'Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse ..... 

MEMORABLE MOMENT: But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

MY THOUGHTS: Loved by generations of the young and not so young, I read this to our Great-nephew (almost 2) for the first time this year. Enjoyed by us both, it was a joy to watch his face light up as I read this timeless Christmas classic with its wonderfully eye-catching illustrations by the obviously talented Lis Toft.

• ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS  illustrated by DAVID OXTOBY with story by DAVID SANDISON.

Tom, like all the other children in the world, sent Santa a letter with his Christmas wants: roller skates and a paint box. But this year everything began to go wrong. First of all Santa was held up by customs. Then his sleigh was given a parking ticket. And to cap it all, Santa's ninth reindeer, the famous red-nosed Rudolph, disappeared.

Tom had forgotten to write his address on his letter. Usually Rudolph sorted out that kind of problem, but tonight he was missing. Would Santa be able to find Tom's chimney before Christmas day dawned.

...... Inner front cover.

FIRST SENTENCE VERSE: Snow lay deep and crisp and even 

(Just like in the song?)

As Tom came trudging up the path

Which led to Santa's home.

On tiptoe, he stretched out a hand

To drop his letter in:

"Dear Santa, I'd like roller skates

And a paintbox made of tin."

MEMORABLE MOMENT: This year the elves built something new. 

To speed up Santa's rounds: 

A supersonic supersleigh

To beat the speed of sound.
They'd worked so hard to finish it
In time for Christmas Eve,
But though it sparkled and it shone,
The ground it would not leave.

MY THOUGHTS: Though not as well known (and certainly not as charming) as The Night Before Christmas, to me, Once Upon A Time is every bit as good and even more funny.

A much more up to date story of Santa's exploits on Christmas Eve, this is probably more suited to slightly older readers and, I suspect, may well appeal more to boys.

Also read to our Great-nephew, he seemed to be more enthralled by the words of A Night Before Christmas whilst appearing to enjoy the illustrations of this one more.

KEEP THEM OR NOT?: Re-read many times, all three book will remain on the shelves.

WHEN SANTA GOT STUCK UP ......... A ROPE?

Dear Friends,

I know that most of you think that I only put in an appearance once a year but I'm afraid to say that the recession has hit us hard here at the North Pole and as well as Mother Christmas having to take in washing, the elves are having to sweep chimneys (not a bad thing when you consider there's less soot on my back, my beard is no longer as black and my nose is no longer tickling) and I'm having to moonlight as a store Santa.

Normally a job left to men who once a year don a red suit and false beard, this year you may well have sat on the knee, whispered in the ear of the real Father Christmas - no bad thing given the antics of this poor soul who far from getting stuck up the chimney, hoh, hoh, hoh, managed to get stuck up a rope.

My love to you all whether you have been good or bad, naughty or nice,

THE DIGITAL STORY OF THE NATIVITY.

How social media, web and mobile tell the story of the nativity. The Christmas story told through FaceBook, Twitter, Youtube, Google, Wikipedia.

May your days be merry and bright, 

Season's greetings,

AWARDS - FROM THE GONCOURT FOR PETS TO THE BAD SEX.

A jury including the literary provocateur Michel Houellebecq has handed out a prize dubbed the "Goncourt for pets" to a novel about a hunt gone wrong.

Awarded by the French animal protection group 30 Millions d'Amis, "The Hunting Party" by 42-year-old Agnes Desarthe tells of a young man who is injured during a hunt, and while he awaits rescue falls into "conversation" with a wild rabbit about the meaning of life -- both animal or human. More

A memorial stone to writer and scholar CS Lewis (1898-1963),  best remembered for writing The Chronicles of Narnia, series  that has sold more than 100 million copies worldwide, is to be placed in Poet's corner in Westminster Abbey Poet's Corner. More

For the first time ever two graphic novels have been shortlisted  for a prestigious Costa Book Award.

Nominated in the 'novel' category, Days Of Bagnold Summer by Joff Winterhart, is the story of a heavy metal-loving teenager forced to spend all summer with his mother and the other, nominated in the 'biography' category, Dotter Of Her Father's Eyes by Mary M and Bryan Talbot,  is a graphic novel biography of James Joyce's daughter.

The other books shorlisted for the £30,000 full prize to be announced on the 29th of January 2013 are ....

Novels

• Hilary Mantel for Bring Up The Bodies
• Stephen May for Life! Death! Prizes!
• James Meek for The Heart Broke In

First Novel

• JW Ironmonger for The Notable Brain of Maximilian Ponde
• Jess Richards for Snake Ropes
• Francesca Segal for The Innocents
• Benjamin Wood for The Bellwether Revivals

Biography 

• Artemis Cooper for Patrick Leigh-Fermor: An Adventure
• Selina Guinness for The Crocodile By The Door: The Story Of A House, A Farm And A Family
• Kate Hubbard for Serving Victoria: Life In The Royal Household

Poetry 

• Sean Borodale for Bee Journal
• Julia Copus for The World’s Two Smallest Humans
• Selima Hill for People Who Like Meatballs
• Kathleen Jamie for The Overhaul

Children's

• Sally Gardner for Maggot Moon
• Diana Hendry for The Seeing
• Hayley Long for What’s Up With Jody Barton?
  Dave Shelton for A Boy And A Bear In A Boat. More

And finally ..... 

It's that time of year again, Yep, its time for the Bad Sex Awards (established "to draw attention to the crude and often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel – and to discourage it"). shortlist and ....

The two authors heavily tipped to take this years most coveted award have failed to make it even to this stage as neither JK Rowling for her first adult novel, The Casual Vacancy, nor EL James for her Fifty Shades trilogy has been nominated BUT the following have ....

• Back To Blood - Tom Wolfe
• The Yips - Nicola Barker: She smells of almonds, like a plump Bakewell pudding; and he is the spoon, the whipped cream, the helpless dollop of warm custard.
• The Adventuress: The Irresistible Rise And Fall Of Miss Cath Fox. - Nicholas Coleridge: In seconds the duke had lowered his trousers and boxers and positioned himself across a leather steamer trunk, emblazoned with the royal arms of Hohenzollern Castle. 'Give me no quarter,' he commanded. 'Lay it on with all your might.'
• Infrared - Nancy Huston
• Rare Earth - Paul Mason
• Noughties - Ben Masters: We got up from the chair and she led me to her elfin grot, getting amonst the pillows and cool sheets. We trawled each other's bodies for every inch of history.
• The Quiddity Of Self - Sam Mills
• The Divine Comedy - Craig Raine. More

I've included what I think are the 3 most funny/least sexy extracts, to view simply highlight OR to view more click on the link to the article.

And the winner is - drum roll please ...........

Infrared by Nancy Huston.

(Click HERE to read an extract.)

 

THE GIRL IN THE PAINTED CARAVAN: MEMORIES OF A ROMANY CHILDHOOD.

THE GIRL IN THE PAINTED CARAVAN: MEMORIES OF A ROMANY CHILDHOOD by EVA PETULENGRO.

Born into a Romany gypsy family in 1939, Eva Petulengro's childhood seemed to her to idyllic in every way. She would travel the country with her family in their painted caravan and spend evenings by the fire as they sang and told stories of their past. She didn't go to school or visit a doctor when she was unwell. Instead her family would gather wild herbs to make traditional remedies, hunt game and rabbits for food, and while the men tended horses to make a living, the young girls would join the women in reading palms. But in the post-war era, Eva's perfect world would be turned upside down .....
...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Prologue): I was born in a painted caravan in 1939, into a Romany family who had travelled the roads of Norfolk and the Lincolnshire fens for generations.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 177): She called us over and let us play on her stall while she waited for the evening bustle to get underway. What we were really doing, of course, was 'geeing' for the lady - pretending to be a customer having a go at the stall and then holding a big prize, as though we had won it.

MY THOUGHTS: An insightful and interesting look at the Romany way of life, Eva Petulengro paints a very vivid picture of her childhood during the 1940's as well as, of less interest to me, chronicling her career as a palmist/clairvoyant.

Wonderfully descriptive, the author gives us a rare (and at times I suspect rose tinted) glimpse of her family life, and the traditions and language of a vanishing way of life in a book that, though not the best written and somewhat lacking in the conversational element I prefer in memoirs of this type, is still very readable.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: Passed on by a friend, I shall in turn be passing this on.

SWALLOWING GRANDMA.

SWALLOWING GRANDMA by KATE LONG.


Katherine Millar is eighteen and desperate to be less fat, less swotty and to have cooler friends. But most of all she wishes she had two parents, instead of one grandma, Poll.

Poll is pushing seventy, half blind and utterly poisonous. She has looked after Katherine since she was a baby, when her father was killed in a car crash and her mother vanished. Poll's ambition is for things to stay exactly the same for ever, and for Katherine never to leave their pit village of Bank Top.

Katherine has other ideas, and she can feel change is coming; the omens are all around her. In the meantime, she cleans up after Poll, revises for her exams, watches daytime television and surfs the net at the library trying to find out how to be bulimic. What she doesn't quite realize yet is that life won't always wait for you to catch up with it.
...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): Dogman turned up on our doorstep at nine o'clock sharp, wolfhound in tow.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 98): "Can't you see I'm partially blind?"
"Yes, madam, but you still can't bring back soap if you've used it."

MY THOUGHTS: What a fun cover, it has to be one of my all time favourites,    

To be fair, like many things in life, humour is very much a personal thing and what makes one person laugh out loud will leave another wondering what the joke is.

Sad to say that I found myself firmly in the latter category in that I just didn't get much of the humour of the novel.

A story not just of (largely dysfunctional) relationships, Swallowing Grandma also deals with issues such as disability, teenage pregnancy, child abandonment, body image, bullying and bulimia. Hardly laugh out loud material to begin with, I understand that humour may well have been needed in order to cut through the seriousness, the, dare I say it, potentially depressing nature of much of the plot, but at times I just wasn't convinced by the author making light of the character's plights.

As for characters, wonderfully cantankerous, grandma, Poll, could have been such a funny (and totally believable) character if only she had been toned down a little bit but as it was she came across as a bit of a caricature of, well, a cantankerous elderly woman whilst granddaughter, Katherine (Kat), though I did relate to her in some way, I found to be quite depressing in her general helplessness

Alas not to my taste, it's a shame that the book didn't live up to all that the cover conjured up.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: A church fayre buy, this is not a keeper.

AND NOW FOR A GAME OF ...... GUESS THE PRICE OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE.

Thought this might be fun ......... 

Can you match the tree to the price? 

{A}

{B}

{C}

{D}

{E}

1. £500.00
2. £100.00
3. £1000.00
4. £50.00
5. £10.00

The actual prices .....

A = £50.00

B = £10.00

C = £1000.00

D = £500.00

E = £100.00

FELINE IN NEED OF A MEDIA MONDAY POST AS GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER.

Apologies>>>> Sorry that this Media Monday post is a day late and that I've haven't been stopping by your blogs as much as I usually do.

Though our legal battle continues thankfully our heating and hot water has been restored after all almost five month without but as this proved a longer job than expected I have been away from home (and the computer) for a lengthier period than was anticipated. 

Looking forward to catching up with you all really soon, PW <<<<

How amazing is this?
Hedgehogs are the eye-catching design council architects have dreamed up for the roundabouts at the Lesmahagow M74 slip road. More

I spy ..... a giant duck?
City workers and tourists did a double take as a giant 50ft-tall rubber duck sailed up the Thames.
The bright yellow duck, weighing half a ton, looked quite at home amongst the shiny towers of the City as it set sail on its mission to make people laugh in the capital as it was launched to publicise a new £250,000 bursary designed to encourage people in the UK to have more fun. More

Online Mog blog?
A postman is recording all the cats he encounters on his morning round in a 'mog blog'.
Gareth Lewis, 42, started documenting the cats he meets across Wimbledon in September and has noted more than 60 so far.
On his “STREET MOGS” blog, he captures each one on camera, assigning them a street name based on location and an imaginative nickname. Some recent examples include Fig Roll, 50 Cent, Bovril and Jean Luc. More

And talking of our feline friends ...... cat burglars #1 ......
Milo,the cat pinched 26 sets of keys using her magnetic collar.
The locals of Stoke Newington, North London, were baffled by the thefts until Milo's human Kirsten Alexander saw keys stuck to the moggie's magnetic collar which triggers a catflap. More

And #2......

Police spent £2000.00 sending a van and two officers to investigate Pebbles the cat after Dorothy Howling-Neame, 75, of Folkestone, Kent, called the authorities to report her neighbours’ Bengal had broken into her house through a cat flap and stolen a cooked chicken. More

And whilst on the topic of chickens, how EGGstraodinary is this?

Nice Pecks 2013, a calendar produced by the Happy Egg Company, will be ruffling feathers with hens, who are said to feel calmer and safer in the presence of cockerels, after more than 100 cockerels ‘auditioned’ to have their photo taken in a series of seductive and alluring poses by fashion photographer Nathan Pask. Among them were cockerels in a bath full of bubbles and surrounded by rose petals. More

Puss Goat In Boots ......

Maisie, a twelve year old goat, has been forced to wear children's wellington boots after contracting hoof rot.

Staff at the Maria's Animal Shelter, Probus, Cornwall, where she lives have done their best to help her keep up a stylish look, as they have decked her out with an eye-catching set of pink wellies. More

Banned!  
School kids have been banned from singing a song about a drunken gran being killed by Santa's reindeer ...... after one parent complained.
Teachers wanted to feature the 1970's novelty hit (and Husband dearest's favourite Christmas song) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer in the Christmas concert but one mum claimed they were too upsetting for seven year olds. More

SHAKESPEARE'S CHRISTMAS.

The fourth book read for .....

See my sidebar to sign up OR if you have already done so click HERE to post your review(s).

SHAKESPEARE'S CHRISTMAS by CHARLAINE HARRIS.

Lily Bard has started over in the quiet town of Shakespeare, Arkansas, where she works as a cleaning lady. But she's about to go back to where she came from, and where Lily goes, danger follows . . . Determined to move beyond her violent past, Lily heads to Bartley, her hometown, for her sister's Christmas Eve wedding. But there's something in the air besides festive cheer: the town's doctor and nurses have been bludgeoned to death, and Lily's detective boyfriend has followed an eight-year-old kidnapping case straight to Bartley. It just might have something to do with the murders . . . and with her sister's fiance. With only three days to the wedding, Lily must work fast to clean up the messy case before her sister promises to love, honour and obey a killer.

..... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: (Chapter 1): My situation was as surreal as one of those slomo nightmares Hollywood uses to pad B movies.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 196): I understand that close to Christmas children get excited. I realize that children in packs are more excitable than children separately.

MY THOUGHTS: Hardly the most festive of books but, with set at Christmas and with the title of Shakespeare's Christmas, set perfect for this particular challenge.

The third in the Lily Bard/Shakespeare Mystery series (see my other reviews HERE). At last a plot that has some substance to it, a whodunit that though the reason why is fairly obvious the perpetrator is less so.

Interesting that the author chose this, the third book in the series, to really explore the aftermath of Lily's assault not just through the eyes of those closest to Lily but also through Lily herself's eyes, though this works ok as a stand alone novel it is because of this that I think the books are probably best read in order.

Though still full of coincidences, highly contrived and somewhat lacking in reality (what would law enforcement be without she who solves crimes others fail to?), with none (or very little anyway) of the usual house cleaning and gym elements to the story at last we are rewarded to a good 'old fashioned' murder mystery in which we get to know a far more well-rounded and less one- dimensional Lily.

Enjoyable enough, after reading this I'm at least more inclined to read the other two remaining books in the series.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: Bought as a gift, as with the previous books I'll be passing this on.

DRESSED FOR DEATH & A VENETIAN RECKONING.

DRESSED FOR DEATH/A VENETIAN RECKONING by DONNA LEON.

Commissario Brunetti's hopes of a refreshing family holiday in the mountains are once again dashed when a gruesome discovery is made in Marghera - a body so badly beaten the face is unrecognizable. Brunetti searches Venice for someone who can identify the corpse. But he is met with a wall of silence. Then he receives a telephone call from a contact who promises some tantalizing information. And before the night is out Brunetti is confronting yet another appalling and apparently senseless death.

..... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): The shoe was red, the red of London phone booths.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 200): Paola had been shaving her legs regularly since he knew her; she still cut herself when she did it. It seemed unlikely that a middle-aged man could achieve this feat with greater success than Paola and shave his legs without cutting them.

A lorry crashes on one of the treacherous bends in the Italian Dolomites, spilling a terrible cargo . . .

A prominent international layer is found dead in the carriage of an intercity train at Saint Lucia..

Can the two tragedies possibly be connected?

Commissario Guido Brunetti digs deep into the secret lives of the once great and good for the answer. For in a seedy Venetian bar lies the clue to an evil crime network reaching far beyond the laguna. But it will take another violent death in Venice before the forces of justice can even begin to proceed . . .

..... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): On the last Tuesday in September, snow fell for the first time in the mountains separating northern Italy from Austria, more than a month before it ordinarily be expected.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 76): They'd had their snouts in the public trough for decades, yet nothing seemed strong enough - not public rage, not an upwelling of national disgust - to sweep them from power.

MY THOUGHTS: Books 3 and 4 in the Brunetti series, though both books work well as stand-alone reads I do recommend they be read in order as a series.

Published here in the UK as The Anonymous Venetian (or was it merely  reissued at a later date as this?), as always it is the descriptions of Venice, the food and the Commissario's relationships that make Dressed For Death as good a read as any of the crime element.

Possibly my favourite book in the series so far. Gripped right from the start, I enjoyed all the numerous twists and turns and loved all the ethical issues that the novel raised.

Sadly, quite the opposite was A Venetian Reckoning. 

In my opinion one of the darkest stories in the series, whilst it was not too graphic compared to others of this genre it was never the less graphic enough and certainly, in places, too graphic for my tastes.

Lacking slightly in the usual elements of food and family relationships and with a plot that was even more meandering than I'd come to expect of the author I just felt the whole novel was lacking something that I can't quite put my finger on.

MADAME DOUBTFIRE.

MADAME DOUBTFIRE by ANNE FINE.

Lydia, Christopher and Natalie Hilliard are used to domestic turmoil and have been torn between their warring parents ever since the divorce. All that changes when their mother takes on a most unusual cleaning lady. But, as the Hilliard children soon discover, there's more to Madame Doubtfire than domestic talents.
...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): All the way up the stairs, the children fought not to carry the envelope.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 63): A couple of weeks later, Madame Doubtfire was leaning on the bannister of the upstairs landing, scratching a hairy leg and smoking a cheroot.

MY THOUGHTS: The inspiration behind the film Mrs Doubtfire starring Robin Williams, though fundamentally the same, without saying too much, I found this to be much deeper and, a contradiction in terms I know, both darker and yet on occasion more frothy.

Predominantly the story of a fathers struggle to see more of his children after divorce, whilst undoubtedly funny Madame Doubtfire concentrates less on the cross-dressing antics of the film and instead deals with some very real issues in a way that is both sensitive and realistic.

Though written for children I would suggest that due to some of the arguably understandable destructive behaviour of the adults (I found one or two incidents deeply shocking) this is not suitable for less mature readers.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: Ex-library stock, this is definitely one for the shelves.

OF TURNIPS AND TREES.

Remember my mention of The Turnip Prize last week?
Well, 'The Three Tenas' scoops pub's first prize for art that lacks creativity in Somerset.
Created by Miss Quick, a midwife, the 'art work' consists of a pack of Tena ladies incontinence pads with three pairs sticking out the top. MORE

And following on from my post on the END OF THE WORLD .......
British authorities, in a bid to quell fears of doomsday, have issued light-hearted advice on how best to respond to the potential crisis, such as installing a fire alarm and listening out for weather forecasts.
A London Fire Brigade spokesman said: 'Fit a smoke alarm on each level of your home, then at least you might stand a chance of knowing that the end of the world is nigh ahead of those who don’t a'If you survive the apocalypse you’ll be alerted to a fire more quickly should one ever break out.'
The AA advised: 'Before heading off, take time to do the basic checks on your car and allow extra time for your journey.
'Local radio is a good source of traffic and weather updates and for any warnings of an impending apocalypse. Should the announcer break such solemn news, try to remain focused on the road ahead and keep your hands on the wheel.' MORE
Like one of its key ingredients you'll either love it or loathe it ........
According to British perfume brand Union, Marmite is a surprise hit ingredient in its new £125 perfume, Celtic Fire. 
The company claims that combined with notes of peat, oak, fir and bog myrtle, a fragrance that 'speaks eloquently of primordial terrain ensues'. MORE


Thirsty? In need of the flasktie?
Despite looking like a standard striped tie wearers of the £24.99 FlaskTie can fill a hidden flask with half a pint of their favourite drink.
Ray Couch, from AG Distribution Ltd in the UK, who sell the FlaskTie, said: 'This is the only tie in the world which doubles as a flask, it’s completely unique. MORE

We've had the Christmas dinner in a sandwich and the deep-fried Christmas dinner,now it's the turn of the seasonal sizzler.
James Taylor, 32, from Greater Manchester has created a unique festive dinner inside a sausage by pumping sprouts, bacon and chestnuts into them for his new 'Santa Grills' range.
He and wife Heather, 42, painstakingly hand-chop the sprouts and bacon before crumbling the chestnuts and adding the lot into the sausage meat ready to be mixed up shaped and  grilled. MORE

Imagine driving along, minding your own business when .......
A bushy-tailed rodent caused £5,500 insurance claim after falling from skies on to a motorist driving open-topped car.
The woman was driving her convertible when suddenly the squirrel dropped on top of her and caused her to lose control and plough into a tree. MORE

And it's not just squirrels either ....
Julie Anne Gilburt, 39, had just popped out of her studio in Brighton, East Sussex, when she was hit by something “squidgy”.
Artist Julie Anne thought someone had thrown a ball at her head then looked at her feet and saw that it was a bright orange starfish that was still alive. MORE

When Santa came to the rescue!
Super-Santa stopped robbers from snatching a pub landlord's takings.
The masked muggers fled when Father Christmas confronted them after publican Dave Holden yelled for help as they pounced on him on his way to the bank.
He said "I yelled for help and Santa came running." 
Simon Chapman, who was in his Santa outfit 50 yards away, explained: "As they left, I shouted at them, ‘I’m going to put you on my naughty list for this Christmas.’” More

Not a game to be played with your granny let alone your children!
Based on the latest bonk-buster, The 50 Shades Of Grey board game has hit the shops just in time for Christmas. 
Players listen to risque questions before secretly voting on which of their friends they believe it most applies to. MORE 

And finally, boffins at Sheffield University have come up with the equation for the ......  perfect Christmas tree.

 MORE